Hey friends! It’s Karin here. As I enter my 33rd week of pregnancy (just 50 days until I meet my baby girl!), I’ve been thinking a lot about how we handle stress in our lives. Being pregnant for the first time means I’m about to experience something completely new, and yes, that can bring up some anxious thoughts.
But here’s what I’ve discovered: stress isn’t about what’s happening around you—it’s about what’s happening inside your mind. And the good news? You have more control over that than you think.
Today, I want to share 5 powerful questions that have helped me manage stress and overcome challenges. These aren’t just any questions—they’re tools that can completely shift your perspective when life gets overwhelming.
Question #1: What Am I Actually in Control Of?
When stress hits, our minds often spiral into worst-case scenarios about things we can’t control. This first question brings you back to what matters.
The truth is, we can’t control everything. We can’t control other people’s actions, thoughts, or feelings. We can’t control many external circumstances.
But we can control our own thoughts, reactions, and choices.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask yourself: “What aspects of this situation can I actually influence?” This simple question immediately narrows your focus to what’s actionable rather than what’s anxiety-producing.
Question #2: What Story Am I Telling Myself About This?
Our minds are incredible storytellers—sometimes too good for our own good! When facing a challenging situation, we often create elaborate stories about what might happen, usually focusing on the worst possible outcomes.
I’ve caught myself doing this with my upcoming labor and delivery. My mind wants to create all these “what if” scenarios that haven’t happened and probably won’t happen.
Ask yourself: “What narrative am I creating about this situation?” Then challenge yourself to flip the script.
Instead of “What if everything goes wrong?” try “What if this turns out better than I expected?”
Remember, you are the author of your own life story. You can change the narrative any time you choose.
Question #3: What Would I Tell a Friend in My Shoes?
Isn’t it interesting how we’re often kinder, more compassionate, and wiser when giving advice to friends than to ourselves?
This question helps you tap into that wisdom. If your best friend came to you with exactly the same problem you’re facing, what would you tell them?
Would you tell them to stress out more? To catastrophize? To give up? Probably not! You’d likely offer perspective, encouragement, and practical next steps.
Give yourself the gift of that same compassionate advice.
You can even try this visualization technique: Close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting across from you. What advice would you give to that person? What words of comfort would you offer?
Question #4: What’s One Small Thing I Can Do Right Now?
When we’re stressed, everything can feel overwhelming. The pile of tasks, decisions, or problems seems insurmountable, and we freeze up—which only increases our stress!
Break the cycle by asking: “What’s just one small step I can take right now?”
You don’t need to solve everything at once. Just identify one tiny action that will move you forward.
Maybe it’s making a phone call you’ve been avoiding, organizing one small corner of your desk, or simply stepping outside for some fresh air. I’ve found that even the smallest action can create momentum and reduce that feeling of helplessness that comes with stress.
Remember to focus on the now. Not what might happen tomorrow or next week, but what you can do in this moment.
Question #5: What Can I Be Grateful For Right Now?
This might sound simplistic, but there’s profound science behind gratitude’s power to reduce stress hormones in our bodies. The amazing thing is, you cannot feel grateful and stressed at the same time—these mental states can’t coexist.
When you shift your focus to what you have rather than what you lack or what’s going wrong, your entire physiology changes.
Many people make the mistake of only practicing gratitude when they’re already feeling good, or only turning to it in crisis. The real magic happens when gratitude becomes a daily practice, regardless of circumstances.
Even in my most challenging moments during pregnancy, I can always find something to be grateful for—the baby’s movements, my supportive partner, or even just the sunshine coming through my window.
A Simple Stress-Busting Visualization
Here’s a quick technique I use that combines these questions: When I feel stress or fear approaching, I imagine it as a dark cloud with the word “FEAR” or “STRESS” written inside it.
I visualize this cloud outside my body, acknowledge it, and then say: “You’re not welcome in my life. You need to leave now.”
Then I watch as the cloud floats away and disappears into the sky. It sounds simple, but this visualization works because it creates distance between you and the stress—it’s something outside you that you can release, not something that defines you.
Your Turn to Take Control
Remember, these questions aren’t just theoretical—they’re practical tools that work if you use them consistently. You have the power within you to manage stress without medication or outside help.
Your spirit is more powerful than your physical body, and everything starts with the conversation you’re having with yourself.
The next time stress comes knocking, don’t immediately react. Pause, take a deep breath, and work through these five questions. With practice, they’ll become your go-to stress management toolkit.
I’d love to hear which question resonates most with you! And if you know someone who’s struggling with stress right now, please share this post with them. Sometimes the simplest questions can lead to the most powerful breakthroughs.