Hey everyone, it’s Karin here! Today, I want to talk about something that has completely transformed my life: learning how to say no. If you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of missing out, or taking on too much, then this post is for you!
I used to be the queen of saying yes to everything, even when it left me feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and resentful. But once I started asking myself these 7 key questions, everything changed. So grab a pen and let’s dive in!
Question 1: Why Do You Say Yes?
The first step is to get honest about your motivations. Are you agreeing to things out of habit, guilt, or a desire to be liked? For me, I realized I was saying yes because I was desperately trying to fit in and get approval from others.
Take a moment to reflect on your own patterns. What’s driving your decision to say yes, even when it doesn’t feel good?
Question 2: How Does Saying Yes Make You Feel?
This is where your intuition comes in. When you agree to something, do you feel excited and energized, or drained and resentful? Your gut instinct will never steer you wrong.
I remember saying yes to so many projects at work that left me burnt out and miserable. My body was practically screaming at me to say no, but I ignored it. Never again!
Question 3: Are You Trying to Be Liked?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever said yes just to be seen as the “nice person.” Guilty! I used to bend over backwards to please everyone, terrified that they wouldn’t like me if I set boundaries.
But the truth is, you can be kind and generous while still honoring your own needs. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish or mean – it makes you authentic and self-respecting.
Question 4: Are You Truly Comfortable With This?
Before agreeing to anything, check in with your comfort level. Does this request feel aligned with your values, goals, and priorities? Or are you stretching yourself thin just to avoid rocking the boat?
I’ve learned that discomfort is often a sign that something isn’t right for me. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no!
Question 5: What Are You Really Saying Yes To?
Sometimes, we agree to things without fully understanding what we’re signing up for. Are you crystal clear on the expectations, time commitment, and potential downsides?
I once said yes to helping a friend move, not realizing it would involve 12 hours of back-breaking labor! Had I asked more questions upfront, I could have saved myself a lot of stress (and trips to the chiropractor).
Question 6: Is This Just a Habit?
Pay attention to your automatic responses. Are you saying yes out of habit, without really thinking it through? It’s easy to get stuck in people-pleasing mode, especially if you’ve been doing it for years.
But here’s the good news: you can break the cycle! Start by pausing before you answer and checking in with yourself. A simple “let me get back to you” can buy you time to make an intentional choice.
Question 7: Will You Feel Guilty If You Say No?
This was a big one for me. I used to be consumed by guilt every time I even thought about saying no. But then I realized: that guilt was a sign that I was overriding my own boundaries!
The more you practice saying no, the easier it becomes. Start small and celebrate every victory. Remind yourself that you’re not responsible for managing other people’s reactions – you’re only responsible for being true to yourself.
Take Back Your Power!
Learning to say no has been a total game-changer for me. It’s allowed me to take back control of my time, energy, and mental health. I’ve become more confident, less stressed, and so much happier overall.
If you’re ready to start setting boundaries and owning your no, I invite you to ask yourself these 7 questions the next time you’re facing a decision. Write down your answers and let them guide you towards a more empowered, authentic life.
And if you have any more tips for saying no with grace and confidence, share them in the comments below! Let’s cheer each other on as we learn to put ourselves first.
Here’s to honoring your true yes,
Karin